Running my way towards oblivion... [entries|friends|calendar]
Shawn Cypher

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[30 Nov 2008|04:32pm]
Boy have I been really depressed the past few days or what...
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Funny thing [24 Nov 2008|10:10am]
Lost her, got her back, now she's gone again.
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well [01 Jul 2008|07:33pm]
[ mood | sad ]

nothing has changed in the 10 or so weeks since amy left me... 

except she's with someone else now. one of my employees. and it makes things really hard.

i guess she had to make a drastic change, to prove to herself she was still alive. something exciting, and it may or may not last. who knows.

me. i still love her, without end. i miss her like no other...

i feel so empty without amy.

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Well [22 Apr 2008|08:19am]
[ mood | depressed ]

Funny how two years later, all that has dissolved to dust.

Shawn is now single and lonely, and pretty darned unhappy.

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Back from the dead [03 May 2006|08:36am]
[ mood | calm ]

To post a few pictures. Sorry for the lack of ... not being here. I tend to kind of just glance at Myspace everyday and haven't really messed with my actual "journals" online. So here's a few new pictures of me, and some are of my girlfriend Amy and I.

In my bedroom, note the cool walls, the color I painted :)

Amy and I at a friends party... that we stayed at for about an hour before we got bored and left :P

Here's some more, but I didn't want to make my journal post absolutely huge, so I posted them as links since the photos are 640x480 in size.

Myself at same party (Cory's)
Amy and I Think this is on my bed, I accidentally covered the flash with my hand to give it a weird effect
Amy and Shawn--in my room again, she's being cute, and I'm smiling a goofy grin.

Things have been going well here... so how's everyone else doing?

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[09 Apr 2006|07:59pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Last few weeks.

Hang out with cool Girl.
Becomes girl-friend.
Went to paintball scenario this past weekend.. missed her.
Get to see girl tonight.


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[03 Jan 2006|07:54am]
Addendum to question 16. I decided that "Dark Tranquillity - Character" will be the album of last year for me. Just because I practically wore it out, and I still listen to it a lot to this day.
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I'm unoriginal! :) [02 Jan 2006|03:36am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

It's 330am. I have no idea why I'm still up. I like questionairre thingys, and Kelly was today's big winner.

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
I bought a house.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember having a new years resolution, I'm sure I did, so maybe I sucked at it. I may for this year. But I've yet to stick to one that I can remember at least.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Hmmm.. no...

4. Did anyone close to you die?

5. What countries did you visit?
Only place I went to this year was... Chicago. Outside of FL that is. So, nothing fancy.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
Money ;) Nah, I'd say motivation to get out and do more things. Or not even get out. Just motivation for ANYTHING. I'd like a girlfriend too. But that's not something totally in my control, now is it?

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 13/14th, the days when my Mom was in the hospital and had open-heart surgery.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting out on my own. Getting a promotion at work. Getting my own house.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not getting a social life, and complaining about not having one, though it was my own doing. Obviously if I got out more, and met more people, then I may find someone ... and so I didn't, it's not a failure really. But I realize I could have done better. I tried though.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I got a cold for a few days..

11. What was the best thing you bought?
This thing I live in.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My brothers friend Rob Pruitt, who still to this day helps my Mom out, and was at the hospital every day with our family.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

14. Where did most of your money go?
CDs. Video games. Food. Mortgage and Bills. And House repairs before I moved in. I dumped at least 2 grand of my own cash, and my parents put in more than me.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I thought I had a date with this girl I liked, and it turns out she was still in a relationship, and it was "friends" thing (or so she said)

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2005?
Probably that fucking Disco Inferno song. But honestly, I don't think a particular song will. I listen to way too much music.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happy? Eh. Mostly content, yeah.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter. I think I've put on weight. It sucks. I'm extra loveable now though.
iii. richer or poorer? Richer, I got a $3/hr raise when I moved to Geek Squad

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Getting out of the house. But not to spend money. Sometimes I just get bored and go out and buy things. I mean going out to parties, etc. I did a few at the end of the year though. So making a change.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Spent too much time on heartache.

20. How will you be spending New Years?
Well, it's over. But I was at Cory's house all evening. From 430pm until 1:45am or so. We had a keg of Bud Light and some more beer. It was all gone ;P

21 Did you fall in love in 2005?
Yes. Though it was for naught. Friends!

22 How many one-night stands?

23 What was your favorite TV program?
Ghost Hunters on SciFi. I don't normally watch TV but it's a cool show. And... Modern Marvels on History :)

24.Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone really. Or even dislike. Some people annoy me, but that's it. Them being annoying is probably just me being me.

25.What was the best book you read?
Fortress Draconis by Michael A. Stackpole. Great series, only the end of the 2nd book was like "WTF" and the end of the 3rd was way to abrupt. He went too fast on the last book.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Woods of Ypres and Type O Negative (though they've been around forever, heh.. I jut now got into them)

27. What did you want and get?
I can't think of anything at the moment.

29. What did you want and not get?
A woman.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Huh. I don't think I really liked anything that came out this past year. I haven't seen King Kong yet though. And no, I didn't like Sin City.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 25 two days ago. I went out to Uncle Ernie's with my family and then went home around 9am after that. And I sat and did nothing. Billy and Dave were both gone, and Kevin totally didn't call me when he went to a party.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Once again, a relationship would have been nice. I'm tired of this single life crap. I'm getting old, and I'm getting ready to settle down. I don't want to be an old man before I get to enjoy being married to someone I love, I don't want to be an old man if I ever do decide I would like kids, because then I wouldn't be able to do everything I wanted to.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Jeans and a metal t-shirt.

34. What kept you sane?
My favorite bands. Music.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't like any celebrities. They're just ordinary people with extraordinary jobs.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I hate politics. Though I realize it's a necessary evil, but still, that doesn't mean I have to like the scumbags.

37. Who did you miss?
Sadly, I missed Adrienne more than I should have. That was 4 years ago. But still, I think I miss her because it's the most meaningful relationship I ever had, where I seriously couldn't see myself wanting anyone else.. See question 32. That's why I miss it. Because I'm lonely, and when you're lonely you get all kinds of feelings churned up.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Funny. I just bought this CD yesterday, and I saw the lyrics and went "Wow, that's powerful" -- and so, here it is:

"Sometimes I get to thinking of the past
When I've had more than a drink or two
Who knows where the days go
And would you ever want them back"
Primordial - "Cities Carved in Stone"

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[01 Jan 2006|10:22am]
Oh my. I started drinking around 430pm yesterday. And didn't stop until about 12:30. Floated the keg of Bud Light (meh, but, it was cold so I don't care), and had a pretty fun time hanging out with people from work. Was a huge sausage fest, but that's what most parties are. I think there's secret parties girls hold without telling anyone. There's gotta be.

My head hurts. Time to rehydrate and feed myself.

I want to go back to bed.
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[30 Dec 2005|08:25am]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

Happy Birthday to me...

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Name chosen. [29 Dec 2005|08:13am]
After much thought, and movie related discussions. I decided on:

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New addition [28 Dec 2005|11:50am]
[ mood | content ]

My new friend. Compliments of my parents, for my birthday. We rescued her from the pound yesterday.

Anyone have a good name? We've been trying to think of something good from a movie. Girl name, too. Nothing too manly, or too fruity-gay.

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[25 Dec 2005|08:36am]
uh, merry christmas i guess.
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Pasting this from my Xanga cause I'm lazy. And I have far too many online journals. [23 Dec 2005|07:30am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

so, i turn older (25) in 7 days. not too thrilled about that.
1) i haven't had a party in 15 years.
2) i don't expect any gifts, nor do i really want anything
3) i hate this time of year. i love the winter season, and yesterday was the first official day of winter, and the shortest day of the year..

...but christmas has LONG lost it's original meaning. and i seriously could give a flying fuck, but it seems i'm the only one that has noticed this.

a time for peace, happiness, and giving has turned into a time for being rude, cheap, and fucking annoying. and let's not forget about that one dude being nailed to some boards. maybe i'm just totally jaded because i'm in retail... but sometimes i really hate this country's people. or maybe it's just people in general.

i do not know.

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Yawn... [20 Dec 2005|04:48pm]
[ mood | bored ]

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[18 Dec 2005|06:42am]
[ mood | calm ]

I will be here for you
All I want is you
When I see your face
All the angels are shamed

Lay with me beauty
Feel me close to you
Take my hand to you
Touch you softly. Your warm skin

Cover me with you
Over me under you
Pull me in to you
As one we lay entwined

All I ever wanted
I have, I need never wish again
You are heaven sent

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[16 Dec 2005|06:26am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Oh geez I'm tired.

Been a while since I worked at 7am... bleh

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[15 Dec 2005|09:42am]
everything went okay .. she's recovering in icu now.. yesterday was a long day, but all seems well so far.
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[13 Dec 2005|02:55pm]
[ mood | worried ]

i just wanted everyone to know.. as i'm here waiting for a phone call to meet up with my brother's friend, and head to bay medical.

that last night i got a calm call from my dad, who said my mom had some pains yesterday and went to the hospital and was spending the night.. he said she was okay and that i should give her a call in the morning. i told him to call me and let me know what was going on, so today i waited and waited.. about 220 my dad calls me and tells me that i need to get to the hospital. all i know is she has a blockage that is causing her problems.. and she has to have open heart surgery tomorrow. i've been pretty calm about it, but there's times when i'm really getting worried.

i think it will be okay, so.. just if anyone could wish us well on this.. my friends and family will all be here on this.

i'm not exactly christian by any means. i wouldn't dare call myself that .. but if anyone could say a prayer for my mom, please do.

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[06 Dec 2005|08:21am]
[ mood | i have a headache ]

"Just In Case"

Keep me around, waiting behind glass
In case you need, I'll be your piece of ass
Pretend to want me, string me along
Break glass if needed, you can make me crawl

'cause you make me feel like a dog
You can't see my emotion
Is this for real?
I'm a man sinking deep

I was strung out for such a long, long time
Now I own myself, yes I am mine
No longer will I be your just in case
No longer your shit do I need to taste

'cause you make me feel like a dog
You can't see my emotion
Is this for real?
I'm a man sinking deep

I don't wanna be your just in case boy
I don't wanna be your just in case
Oh no

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